Crybaby

I’m feeling especially vulnerable these past few days.

Cases in point:

1) I was talking to the little brother on the phone. He was nonchalant and elusive (like he always did previously when talking to me on the phone. Which fifteen year old doesn’t do that?). And I immediately cried. I freaking sobbed my eyes out.

2) I SMS’d a close friend to tell her that I cried my eyes out when talking with the brother. She replied asking why I was so emotional, and I cried reading that.

3) Tired of having to string some words together to make a coherent sentence for the thesis (or I just couldn’t be bothered with the process, you pick), I decided to watch an episode of Boys Over Flowers. At every kind/brave/romantic/silly-but-sweet gesture made by the main hero (and the poor second hero – not I-have-no-money poor, but I-love-her-but-she-does-not-love-me-back kind of poor), I would tear up, which usually led to full waterworks.

4) I would cry looking at the MMS pictures sent by the grandma of my nephew (my mom), for I haven’t seen him in almost a month.



#4 definitely takes the cake.

Are You Who You Say You Are?

No matter how close you are to someone, you can never know everything there is to know about him/her. You can spend every single waking minute with him/her, or you can have countless heart-to-heart conversations with him/her, but you can never know for sure what's really in his/her heart. Like, really really know. Be it your boy/girl/best friend or a family member, there will always be something that he/she hides from you. Always. Even if you share saliva (same spoon for that sundae), you can never know for sure what's in the heart of his/hers.

No one is who they seem to be. On the outside, they might look like Mr. Hyde, but when you part ways and be on your own, they turn into Dr. Jekyll. Or vice versa. And even if they seem like they are the same person both in private and public, you can bet that there are still some secrets/facts that they conceal. However big or small, rotten bad or just innocent, hidden secrets are there. Gregory House always say that 'Everybody lies', or in some cases, they are just simply not telling the whole truth, just bits and pieces of it.

Revealing secrets is akin to stripping every layer of clothing you have on a busy street (not that I have any experience of doing it. It's just what I think). The act of stripping itself is humiliating/embarassing/mortifying, what more having one's bare uncovered skin exposed for all the world to see.

This may seem like ramblings of a disturbed mind, but whatever.

The point/message that I'm trying to convey here is this:

You can never completely know someone, unless you ARE that someone.

Wanting to sound like Mr. House, this is what I have to say: Everybody hides.

Choose The One Who Loves You More

Rain, rain, rain on my mind
I've got a secret life
Wipe, wipe, wipe it away
Nothing can make me dry

Fight all the while
Fight 'til I think I'm free
Feel rains we never see
Beautiful secret lives

It can make you face all your fears
It can make you face all your fears

Oh, smile, smile in a day
Fear takes its place at night
Oh, oh, I'm pretty in the rain
I love your secret life

It can make you face all your fears
It can make you face all your fears.

I could leave you well enough alone
Believe and you'll be overcome and gone
By grace away
Better off than if I stayed
I could leave you well enough alone
Believe and you'll be overcome and gone
By grace away
Better off than if I stayed

I could leave you walk away
We'll save it for another day
Through all the wars I've come to know
It's punches pulled, not towels thrown in

When they come knocking on your heart's door
Choose the one who loves you more
And when you've found something to die for
(Make you face all your fears)
They'll be knocking on your heart's door
(Make you face all your fears)
When they come knocking on your heart's door
(Make you face all your fears)
Choose the one who loves you more
(Make you face all your fears)
And when you've found something to die for
(Make you face all your fears)
They'll be knocking on your heart's door
(Make you face all your fears)
When they come knocking on your heart's door
(Make you face all your fears)
Choose the one who loves you more
(Make you)

- Copeland, from the album 'In Motion'

'_____' --> That's what my mom always say!