All This Anger

I don't blame you men. I am a woman, even I don't know what I want. But I do know this: I have a lot of emotions, and when these emotions surge in at unexpected time, I want you to stick around and not go into your safe shell of ignoring me. Choose every little word that you reply with, carefully. As if you are treading on a minefield. As if you're holding a very fragile piece of porcelain. Put on your bullet-proof vest, and stand your ground around the exploding entity that is me. I have made it clear to you that I HATE being left alone when I am in a fury. I have explicitly told you that I don't want to be left alone.

There is no worse feeling than being left alone.

A-to-Z

A - Age: 26.
B - Bed size: Queen.
C - Chore you hate: Folding the laundry.
D - Drink of choice: Sky juice, sometimes anything flavored would do.
E - Essential start to your day item: Err, toothbrush?
F - Favorite color: I seem to favor black these days..
G - Gold or Silver: Gold if it's for make-up, silver (or platinum or white gold) if it's for jewelry.
H - Height: 5'6"
I - Instruments you play(ed): The piano/keyboard.
J - Job: I have one. I don't hate it nor do I love it.
K - Kids: Yes please, when I'm ready.
L - Living arrangements: With the family. They won't let me move out until I get married.
M - Mom's name: Rose.
N - Nicknames: I had some, but they are no more.
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: A 1-week dengue stint a few years ago.
P - Pet Peeve: Tardiness.
Q - Quote from a movie: Can't think of any from a movie right now. But here's one from a book: "If you don't want to die, then you should've never been born".
R - Right or left handed: Leftie.
S - Siblings: 1 older brother, 2 youngers ones.
T - Time you wake up: 5am, sometimes 5.30.
U- Underwear: Bikini style please.
V - Vegetable you dislike: Parkia speciosa aka petai. Who says semua anak Jawa suka petai?
W - What makes you run late: Diarrhea.
X - X-rays you've had: Regular ones for medical check-ups.
Y - Yummy food you make: Scrambled eggs.

Day 8: A Song To Match Your Mood

Megan Nicole - B-e-a-utiful

It's just one of those days.

What Do You Call This Feeling?

So the other day I was tweet-browsing. Following new seemingly-interesting people, unfollowing annoying people, that sort of thing. Then I remembered Him. We haven't been in touch for the longest time; last contact was in October 2011. Part of me thinks it was my fault he ran away, part of me thinks it was his problem for being scared. He once told me after a heart-to-heart discussion that he was 'afraid of the possibility of a commitment' when I asked him what was wrong, why did he suddenly withdraw/go MIA. I was willing to give him time, but then he disappeared. I remember thinking maybe he was hurt from a previous relationship. Maybe his ex hurt him so badly that he thought it's hard to commit again. Maybe, so many maybes.

I'm the kind of girl who is so hard to get smitten by a guy, but when I do, it'll take me a really long time to get over him if we drift apart. This guy made me so happy that I didn't care what he would think if I asked to meet him so often. At first, we had 5 dates in 2 weeks, and that's a bit too frequent in my book prior to knowing him.

Back to the story. So I was browsing, and I stumbled upon his tweets. He was having a conversation with his Twitter friend, and he said that he's having 2 receptions in September: one on the girl's side and a week later on his side. I was dumb-founded. What the actual fuck? He's getting married?! In September?! WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING 'AFRAID OF POSSIBILITY OF A COMMITMENT'?

All along I've thought that maybe he was hurt by another girl. Heck, I even thought that he's a player, that he was just fooling around with me. That I could accept. But not this. Telling me one thing and goes to do the opposite!

Isn't marriage the ultimate form of commitment?

Adele's songs from 21 perfectly capture my emotions. 'Someone Like You' will perfectly describe my situation come September, except that I'm not so sure if I wanna wish him the best. Yes I'm bitter now. Who wouldn't?

To make matters worse (for me), the girl he's marrying seems like a pious girl, tudung besar & Facebook profile picture that of a mosque semua. Maybe I was not exactly the best wife material for him, yes I admit I have a lot of weaknesses I have to repair. But to think that he was just fooling around with me and later leaving me to find a pious girl to marry, that is just beyond me. Don't wanna speculate whether it's an arranged marriage or not.

I'm on the verge of wishing for their union won't be long-lasting. That's how hurt I was when I found out about him getting married.

Terkilan? Tertipu?
What do you call this feeling?

Starting Over. For real this time.

This blog is pretty much dead. I only come here from time to time to re-read old posts to remind myself how I've grown over the years since the birth of this blog. First step of breathing life into this place is by renaming it. The Musings of a Lady-Girl sounded like a great idea 5 years ago. It sounds immature now. I shall come up with a nice title soon, pinky promise. I shall blog like no one's reading. The joys, pains and everything in between will be documented here. No like? No problem. Don't say you haven't been warned. Save your time and just leave.
Until next time.

Halo YG Day, One Utama New Wing

Yummilicious backdrop

What Happened To Us?

I was motivated to blog something about this relationship issue after reading Victoria's post recently.

She talked about being dumped (or 'pre-dumped' as Victoria called it) when nothing is actually certain yet. You know that feeling? Yes? No?

I know.

Day 2: London Calling - of Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, and Cat Fish

Did a lot of walking on Day 2. Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace, Malaysia Hall London at Bayswater (because Pika wanted her ikan keli), Westminster Abbey (which totally reminded me of A1's Benjamin Adams hehe), Big Ben, and the National Gallery (which we didn't enter - look at the crowd!). And of course, the experience of going through the maze of subs :)

Pictures are not in chronological order.

Switchfoot Live in KL 2011 - The Review

*puts on headphone, Switchfoot playlist on loop*

I'm one of the few people who are not really a Switchfoot fan, per se. Sure, I like Stars, Meant To Live and their other songs that received quite extensive air play on the local radio stations, but I don't really buy their records etc. I admit I don't really memorize ALL the lines in their songs, but I do know good music when I listen to it. Switchfoot does come up with pretty great songs with catchy hooks and inspiring lyrics. I've always known this fact, but I didn't fully realize their ability to rock a live show!

To sum up simply, my first rock concert ever, was with Switchfoot, and it was PHENOMENAL.

Day 1: London Calling - Of Stansted Airport, The Tube, The Big Bus, London Eye, River Cruise

WARNING: THIS IS AN IMAGE-HEAVY POST.

First, let me start off by stating that this was an impromptu trip, everything was planned only 2 weeks prior to our departure flight.

Okay, now on to the winter adventure!

On Hold

Okay, so I am such a failure at this 30-day challenge thing. I have decided to blog about Self Love/Big Bang only when I'm bored and I need something to blog about, just for the sake updating. Geddit? Yes? No? Haha.

Instead, hold your breath for my entry on my recent trip to London & Paris~

Until then,
taa~

In The Face of Calamity..

.. Japan showed us the best example on how to react and what to do. They are a strong, disciplined bunch (they queued up for rations for God's sake!). Resilient. Compassionate.

Screen capture of this blog; found out via this blog

Big Bang Challenge - Day 8: Favorite Seungri 'Panda Eyes' Picture

Picture credit here

Self Love - Day 7: Dream Wedding

I've written about this before, in a tag post, on 17 November 2008 (wow how time flies!).
Sure, I've grown up, so I've updated some of the deets below.

This is gonna be a long one. Brace yourselves, people. Don't say I didn't warn you!

1.How old are you?
Twenny-one. Yes, I purposely spelled it that way. Twenty four end of March!

2. Are you single?
Single all the way. For now.

Big Bang Challenge - Day 6: Favorite DaeSung Eye Smile

Picture credit here

Self Love - Day 6: Photo of Animal I'd Like to Keep As Pet

Picture credit here

If this animal exists, show me where it is. I'm willing to spend for one!

Big Bang Challenge - Day 5: Favorite Taeyang Eye-Smile

It has always been this one:

.gif credit here

Self Love - Day 5: Photo of Self 2 Years Ago

Picture taken in July, 2009 (thank God for Facebook!)

Lemme see.

I still have that scarf.
I still have that shirt.
I still have that Swatch.
I still have that ring.
I still have those necklaces.
I still have that camera.
I still have those glasses.
I still smile the same way.
I still wear that same shade of lipgloss.
I still like to eat ramen.
I still like going to Pavillion.

Yep, I haven't changed at all.
I might have left school, I might have more pairs of shoes now, but I'm still the same girl I was 2 years ago.

Self Love - Day 4: Favorite Photograph of Best Friend(s)

I couldn't choose only one of my best friends, so here's all four of them:

This is a recent picture of Gen. I love this picture of her because she's rocking the stylish shawl wrap! ^^

This picture was taken when I went to visit Pika in the UK early this year. We went to the Malaysian Hall in Bayswater, London, and she was so happy because she got to have ikan keli after so long craving for it! lol

This is Shera. This picture is an all-time favorite of mine, because it was taken on the happiest day of her life - her wedding reception day. She simply looked divine, and the eye make-up was smashing and suits her to a T!

ROFL. This is Abboy. She's this cute, blur, adorable, brilliant, genius friend of mine ^^

Big Bang Challenge - Day 4: Favorite G-Dragon Hairstyle

JiYong has had over 140+ hairstyles since Big Bang debuted 'til their most recent 'Tonight' comeback.

See below.

Picture credits - 1 2 3 4

But I love his Baskin Robbins hairstyle the most!

Such a cutie pie ^^